53 lines
4.8 KiB
Plaintext
53 lines
4.8 KiB
Plaintext
book-text-fishops = FISHOPS ADVANCED USER MANUAL FIRST EDITION
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fishops (v.)
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Summoning many carp on someone.
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"I got fishopsed!" (said post revival as the subject died)
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fishops (n.)
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The act of war in which the majority of a nuclear task force's budget is put towards fishopsing the station.
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Alternatively it can be used to refer to the operatives doing fishops.
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"We are doing fishops."
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"It's the dreaded fishops!"
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This manual will teach you the mechanics of both kinds of fishops.
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CHAPTER 1: The Old Man and the Fish
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What is a carp? A carp is a space creature that only has one desire: to attack the enemy. Once it finds a suitable target, it will home in and viciously attack. The manner in which it attacks is fairly simple: it will move in, bite the target, then move back out. This is referred to as kiting.
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This makes a single fish challenging to fight, let alone a group of them. A carp does not need food or water, it attacks for pleasure alone. Unfortunately it will not attack past critical condition, a single carp will refuse to finish off a target. Many carp however will, around 20 will instantly kill just about anything.
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CHAPTER 2: Under the Sea
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Knowing what a carp is good and all, but how does one summon a carp on command? The dehydrated space carp, found rarely on wreckages in space or supplied by the syndicate to its agents and operatives. It is a simple thing: once water is sprayed or poured on it, it will turn into a real space carp. Slipping in a puddle of water will instantly hydrate all the dehydrated carp in your inventory, which can be lucrative for instant "fishbombing".
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CHAPTER 3: Best Friends Forever
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Summoning a carp that attacks you is rarely useful, so there is a way to make them friendly to you. Before hydration, you stroke the dehydrated carp's head like petting a cat. Once hydrated, it will never attack you. This applies to any number of people that do it, so you can have a whole group of people that the carps are friendly towards. Before this was a thing operatives would remotely detonate literal carp bombs: a locker containing carp, a c4 to blow the locker open and a water foam grenade to hydrate the carp. Once at a safe distance, the c4 and grenade are triggered to unleash the carp.
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CHAPTER 4: Fish Petting Pipeline
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Without an optimal pipeline, not everyone on a team will pet all the fish perfectly. This is where a fish petting pipeline comes in. Each member of the team is only allowed to pet fish in their own pipeline. After everyone has purchased carp, they are put in one large pile. The first member starts petting, putting the petted fish in a second pile. This repeats until there is a pile at the end which everyone has pet at some point. This pile can then be bagged for use.
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CHAPTER 5: Deployment
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Fishbombs, slipping and other methods are powerful but require large setup. A much easier way to hydrate them is to have a bottle of water. Any bottle stores 100u of liquids so simply empty it and fill it from a sink. Once you see someone that should be attacked, or are in an area that should be secured from the enemy, simply pour a single unit of water onto each carp. A single bottle will have enough for 100 carp, so you can even take a drink if you get thirsty.
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Each member in a fishops squad should carry a bottle and some fish, as there will be far more than just one member can carry.
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CHAPTER 6: Fish War
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In the event of fish war there will be double the fish, more than could possibly be carried. A reinforcement or two will be required to carry the surplus fish. A fish war has never happened in recorded history, so it is currently purely theoretical. Its destructive power would rival several neutronium bombs.
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book-text-vulpkanin = Vulpkanin for Dummies, an Exhaustive Guide
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So, you're new to the sector and keep seeing these fine folks running around?
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Those are Vulpkanin, basically space foxes (or wolves, depending who you ask)!
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We've accumulated some quick tips you might use when engaging with these fluff balls.
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No Chocolate! Seriously, it's like poison to them. Stick to burgers and fries.
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Watch the Tail: A wagging tail usually means they're happy. A puffed-up tail? Back away slowly...
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They Come in All Colors: From fiery reds to snowy whites, every Vulpkanin is unique!
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Learn their Language: While most Vulpkanin speak common, knowing a few phrases in their native tongue can go a long way in building rapport.
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How to Kiss: Kiss
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Don't Underestimate Them: Vulpkanin may look cute and cuddly, but they can be fierce fighters when provoked. Treat them with respect and avoid unnecessary conflict.
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