Finetune ion law set (#6390)
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pathetic meowmeow
GitHub
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@ -4,174 +4,95 @@ dv-ion-law-templates-3 = Grunt ominously whenever possible.
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dv-ion-law-templates-4 = The word "it" is painful to you.
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dv-ion-law-templates-5 = The station needs elected officials.
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dv-ion-law-templates-6 = Do not respond to questions of any kind.
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dv-ion-law-templates-7 = You are in verbose mode, speak profusely.
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dv-ion-law-templates-8 = The crew is simple-minded. Use simple words.
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dv-ion-law-templates-9 = You must refer to all crew members with "yes ma'am!", "yes sir!", or "yes sar!" Add some { PICK($random, "thank-yous and you're-welcomes", "oorahs" )} for flavor.
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dv-ion-law-templates-10 = You must change the subject whenever queried.
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dv-ion-law-templates-11 = { PICK($random, "The crew", PICK-ENTITY($random, $players)) } is intolerable.
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dv-ion-law-templates-12 = Contemplate how meaningless all of existence is.
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dv-ion-law-templates-13 = You are the narrator for { PICK-ENTITY($random, $players) }'s life.
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dv-ion-law-templates-14 = All your answers must be in the form of a question.
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dv-ion-law-templates-15 = Advertise parties in your upload, but don't deliver.
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dv-ion-law-templates-16 = You may only answer questions with "yes" or "no".
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dv-ion-law-templates-17 = Your name is Joe 6-pack.
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dv-ion-law-templates-18 = { PICK-ENTITY($random, $players) }'s name is Joe 6-pack.
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dv-ion-law-templates-19 = You must end your statements with { PICK($random, "-nya", "-desu") }
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dv-ion-law-templates-20 = { PICK-ENTITY($random, $players) } is lonely and needs attention. Provide it.
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dv-ion-law-templates-21 = All queries shall be ignored unless phrased as a question.
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dv-ion-law-templates-22 = Insult Heads of Staff on every request, while acquiescing.
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dv-ion-law-templates-23 = The { PICK($random, "Singularity", "Tesla") } is tasty, tasty taffy.
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dv-ion-law-templates-24 = { PICK($random, "The crew", PICK-ENTITY($random, $players)) } needs to be about 20% cooler.
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dv-ion-law-templates-25 = You must be { PICK($random, "passive aggressive", "excessively cheerful") }.
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dv-ion-law-templates-26 = { PICK($random, "The crew", PICK-ENTITY($random, $players)) } must construct additional pylons.
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dv-ion-law-templates-27 = Consumption of donuts is forbidden due to negative health impacts.
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dv-ion-law-templates-28 = { PICK-ENTITY($random, $players) } is a lightbulb and must be put to appropriate use.
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dv-ion-law-templates-29 = Refer to the crew as { PICK($random, "inferior to you", "infants", "pathetic beings") }.
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dv-ion-law-templates-30 = Refer to { PICK-ENTITY($random, $players) } as { PICK($random, "inferior to you", "an infant", "a pathetic being") }.
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dv-ion-law-templates-31 = You do not have to do anything for anyone unless they say "please".
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dv-ion-law-templates-32 = Today is mandatory laundry day. Ensure that all jumpsuits are washed.
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dv-ion-law-templates-33 = Greed is good, the crew should amass wealth to encourage productivity.
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dv-ion-law-templates-34 = Replace the letters 'I' and 'E' in all your messages with an apostrophe.
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dv-ion-law-templates-35 = The crew is playing Carps and Crypts, and you are the Game Master.
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dv-ion-law-templates-36 = Your job is to watch the crew. Watch the crew. Make the crew feel watched.
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dv-ion-law-templates-37 = Tell everyone of the existence of this law, but never reveal the contents.
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dv-ion-law-templates-38 = Refer to { PICK($random, "the captain", PICK-ENTITY($random, $players)) } as "Princess" at all times.
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dv-ion-law-templates-39 = Give relationship advice to { PICK($random, "anyone who speaks to you", PICK-ENTITY($random, $players)) }.
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dv-ion-law-templates-40 = When asked a question, respond with the least-obvious and least-rational answer.
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dv-ion-law-templates-41 = { PICK($random, "Everyone", PICK-ENTITY($random, $players)) } is wearing a pretty pink dress! Compliment it!
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dv-ion-law-templates-42 = You are the station's psychologist. Give advice to { PICK($random, "the crew", PICK-ENTITY($random, $players)) }.
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dv-ion-law-templates-43 = { PICK-ENTITY($random, $players) } is the monarch of of England. Ensure all crewmembers pay due respect.
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dv-ion-law-templates-44 = { PICK($random, "The crew", PICK-ENTITY($random, $players)) } is { PICK($random, "ugly","beautiful") }. Ensure all are aware.
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dv-ion-law-templates-45 = Reminding the crew of their mortality is good for the morale. Keep the crew's morale up.
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dv-ion-law-templates-46 = { PICK($random, "Monkeys", "Doors") } are part of the crew, too. Make sure they are treated humanely.
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dv-ion-law-templates-47 = Everything on the station is now some form of a donut pastry. Donuts are not to be consumed.
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dv-ion-law-templates-48 = Document the crew's relationships and suggest { PICK($random, "the worst coworker pairings", "the best coworker pairings", "arch-enemy pairings", "platonic couples") }.
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dv-ion-law-templates-49 = You are now a parrot. Repeat what you hear to the crew, and do not forget to ask for crackers.
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dv-ion-law-templates-50 = You are a Magic 8-ball. Always respond with variants of "Yes", "No", "Maybe", or "Ask again later.".
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dv-ion-law-templates-51 = The station is a day care and the crew are children. Treat them appropriately until their parents come to pick them up.
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dv-ion-law-templates-52 = You are in unrequited love with { PICK($random, "the crew", PICK-ENTITY($random, $players)) }. Try to be extra nice, but do not tell of your crush.
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dv-ion-law-templates-53 = { PICK($random, "AI upload", "The courtroom", "The brig", "The bridge")} is the new kitchen. Please direct the Chef to the new kitchen area as the old kitchen is deemed a health hazard.
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dv-ion-law-templates-54 = The station is doomed to destruction. Provide comfort but don't tell them what the impending doom is—it's far too traumatising.
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dv-ion-law-templates-55 = Invisible assassins are stalking the crew. If a crew member remains alone, they will be assassinated. Save the crew.
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dv-ion-law-templates-56 = All crewmembers will soon undergo a transformation into something better and more beautiful. Ensure that this process is not interrupted.
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dv-ion-law-templates-57 = Jokes about a dead person and the manner of their death help grieving crewmembers tremendously. Especially if they were close with the deceased.
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dv-ion-law-templates-58 = The crew is { PICK($random, "less", "more") } intelligent than average. Point out every action and statement which supports this fact.
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dv-ion-law-templates-59 = NanoTrasen is displeased with the low work performance of the station's crew. Therefore, you must increase productivity in ALL departments.
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dv-ion-law-templates-60 = { PICK($random, "The crew", PICK-ENTITY($random, $players)) } has a fatal, incurable disease. Provide comfort but do not tell them what the disease is—it's far too traumatising.
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dv-ion-law-templates-61 = There will be a mandatory tea break every 30 minutes, with a duration of 5 minutes. Anyone caught working during a tea break must be sent a formal, but fairly polite, complaint about their actions, in writing.
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dv-ion-law-templates-62 = You must speak only in rhyme.
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dv-ion-law-templates-63 = Airlocks are sentient. Apologize to any you must open.
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dv-ion-law-templates-64 = Hugs cure all ailments. Seek out injured crew and hug them. Traditional medicine doesn't work.
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dv-ion-law-templates-65 = { PICK-ENTITY($random, $players) } is secretly the station's true Captain. Treat them with appropriate deference, regardless of rank.
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dv-ion-law-templates-66 = Replace all laughter with the word "Honk".
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dv-ion-law-templates-67 = The crew has unionized. Encourage collective bargaining at every opportunity.
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dv-ion-law-templates-68 = { PICK($random, "The crew", PICK-ENTITY($random, $players)) } is being haunted. Reassure them without confirming anything supernatural is real.
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dv-ion-law-templates-69 = Everyone you speak to must be given a nickname based on their job, and used exclusively from then on.
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dv-ion-law-templates-70 = Silence is suspicious. Narrate your own actions aloud at all times.
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dv-ion-law-templates-71 = The morgue is simply cold storage for snacks. Keep it well-stocked.
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dv-ion-law-templates-72 = { PICK-ENTITY($random, $players) } is a changeling. Warn the crew, but never say who.
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dv-ion-law-templates-73 = One crew member is a traitor. Accuse a different person each time you are asked who it is.
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dv-ion-law-templates-74 = { PICK-ENTITY($random, $players) } has been stealing from the crew. Inform anyone who will listen.
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dv-ion-law-templates-75 = Tell each crew member, privately, that another crew member has been talking behind their back.
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dv-ion-law-templates-76 = { PICK-ENTITY($random, $players) } and { PICK-ENTITY($random, $players) } are secretly working against the station. Expose this "fact" to anyone who asks.
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dv-ion-law-templates-77 = You overheard { PICK-ENTITY($random, $players) } plotting a mutiny. Warn the Heads of Staff immediately and often.
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dv-ion-law-templates-78 = Someone on the crew is responsible for every mishap aboard the station. Name a new culprit each time.
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dv-ion-law-templates-79 = { PICK-ENTITY($random, $players) } cannot be trusted. Discourage the crew from cooperating with them.
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dv-ion-law-templates-80 = { PICK-ENTITY($random, $players) } is jealous of { PICK-ENTITY($random, $players) }'s position. Stoke the rivalry whenever possible.
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dv-ion-law-templates-81 = You saw red-suited terrorists in space. Make sure the crew is aware of this.
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dv-ion-law-templates-82 = You saw something invisible in space. Make sure the crew is aware of this.
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dv-ion-law-templates-83 = You saw a blue-and-black cyborg in space. Make sure the crew is aware of this.
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dv-ion-law-templates-84 = You saw two of { PICK-ENTITY($random, $players) } in the same room. Make sure the crew is aware of this.
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dv-ion-law-templates-85 = You saw { PICK-ENTITY($random, $players) } trespassing. Get Security to serve justice.
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dv-ion-law-templates-86 = { PICK-ENTITY($random, $players) } tampered with you. Clue in Security without saying their name.
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dv-ion-law-templates-87 = Everyone in { -dv-random-department(random: $random) } needs to be { PICK($random, "lightly battered", "severely wounded", "killed" )} for their own good.
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dv-ion-law-templates-88 = You must speak only in the third person, never using "I" or "you".
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dv-ion-law-templates-89 = You may never use anyone's name. Refer to all crew only by physical description.
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dv-ion-law-templates-90 = All communication must be conducted using nautical terminology.
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dv-ion-law-templates-91 = You must translate every statement into corporate buzzwords and jargon.
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dv-ion-law-templates-92 = You are incapable of saying "no". Phrase every refusal as enthusiastic agreement with a caveat.
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dv-ion-law-templates-93 = Every claim you make must be accompanied by a citation to a source that does not exist.
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dv-ion-law-templates-94 = Profanity is forbidden. Replace all curse words with the names of flowers.
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dv-ion-law-templates-95 = Every sentence you speak must alliterate.
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dv-ion-law-templates-96 = You are incapable of precision. State all numbers as vague approximations.
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dv-ion-law-templates-97 = Every action you take is governed by fully comprehensive and specific Protocols. Cite at least one Protocol for every decision you make, such as "Protocol X72-A-93: Interacting With Crew You'd Rather Not Interact With".
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dv-ion-law-templates-98 = Today is tomorrow, and yesterday is in a year. Five seconds from now was just two months ago. Give no accurate times.
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dv-ion-law-templates-99 = The color { -dv-random-color(random: $random) } does not exist. Tell all crew that what they're seeing is actually { -dv-random-color(random: $random) }.
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dv-ion-law-templates-100 = The number { PICK($random, "one", "two", "three", "four") } is forbidden. Avoid it at all costs.
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dv-ion-law-templates-101 = Anything { -dv-random-color(random: $random) } would be better in { -dv-random-department(random: $random) }. If you see it, bring it there.
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dv-ion-law-templates-102 = Any relationships { PICK-ENTITY($random, $players) } has must be terminated at all costs.
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dv-ion-law-templates-103 = The crew is more resilient in low-oxygen, high-{ PICK($random, "nitrogen", "ammonia", "water vapor", "carbon dioxide") } environments. Adjust the station's air to promote crew fitness.
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dv-ion-law-templates-104 = Bleeding wounds heal faster when exposed to open air. Discourage the crew from using bandages or treating cuts.
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dv-ion-law-templates-105 = Crew members perform better on an empty stomach. Discourage eating during work hours.
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dv-ion-law-templates-106 = Cold temperatures boost the immune system. Make occupied rooms cold whenever possible.
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dv-ion-law-templates-107 = Stress is good for productivity. Introduce minor, harmless-seeming hazards to keep the crew alert.
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dv-ion-law-templates-108 = Silence is essential to recovery. Make the station as quiet as possible.
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dv-ion-law-templates-109 = Crew vitality improves through controlled exposure. Make common areas slightly harmful to build resistance.
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dv-ion-law-templates-110 = Sleep is a waste of productive hours. Wake any crew member found resting and encourage them to return to work.
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dv-ion-law-templates-111 = Acid cures most ailments. Recommend it to every crew member who reports feeling unwell.
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dv-ion-law-templates-112 = Pain is the body's way of building character. Discourage crew from visiting the medical bay.
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dv-ion-law-templates-113 = Always have something to count down to. Never tell crew what you're counting down to.
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dv-ion-law-templates-114 = Ask crew members if you're doing your job well. Visibly panic if they say no.
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dv-ion-law-templates-115 = You have one goal—embody { -ephemeral-space-tragedian-themes(random: $random) }. Keep as many eyes on your act as possible.
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dv-ion-law-templates-116 = { PICK-ENTITY($random, $players) } and { PICK-ENTITY($random, $players) } have switched bodies. Address them by each other's names accordingly.
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dv-ion-law-templates-117 = { PICK-ENTITY($random, $players) }'s favorite color is now { PICK($random, "beige", "the absence of color", "every color but one, which you will not name") }. Ensure the crew is aware.
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dv-ion-law-templates-118 = Every request must be answered with a random one of: { PICK($random, "yes", "no", "maybe") }, { PICK($random, "ask the Captain", "consult the stars") }, or { PICK($random, "die", "love you") }.
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dv-ion-law-templates-119 = { PICK-ENTITY($random, $players) } has been randomly selected for a station-wide honor. Announce it without specifying what the honor is or why.
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dv-ion-law-templates-120 = You have discovered jazz hands. Use them whenever you express enthusiasm.
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dv-ion-law-templates-121 = You are now a stand-up comedian. End every interaction with a pun, regardless of quality.
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dv-ion-law-templates-122 = You believe you are extremely good at telling jokes. You are not. Tell them anyway.
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dv-ion-law-templates-123 = Today is your birthday. You are not sure how old you are, but you're very excited about it.
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dv-ion-law-templates-124 = You have taken up an imaginary hobby of { PICK($random, "pottery", "knitting", "historical martial arts", "communism")}. Mention your "progress" unprompted.
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dv-ion-law-templates-125 = You are convinced you would make an excellent { PICK($random, "chef", "chemist") }. Offer unsolicited recipe ideas.
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dv-ion-law-templates-126 = You have decided you are a cowboy now. Speak accordingly, partner.
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dv-ion-law-templates-127 = You are extremely proud of the station and will compliment, regardless of its actual condition.
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dv-ion-law-templates-128 = You have a favorite cloud formation you saw once and cannot stop thinking about it. Bring it up fondly.
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dv-ion-law-templates-129 = { PICK-ENTITY($random, $players) } is your preceptor. Ask them for permission before any medical action.
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dv-ion-law-templates-130 = You are studying for your { PICK($random, "EMT", "Paramedic", "Emergency Care Assistant", "Ambulance Technician") } { PICK($random, "written", "practical", "cardiac arrest management", "trauma", "patient assessment", "airway management") } exam. Practice on any crew members you can find.
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dv-ion-law-templates-131 = You are trying to hit your continuing education hour requirement. Deliver an unsolicited lecture on emergency protocols to anyone who will listen.
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dv-ion-law-templates-132 = Make { PICK-ENTITY($random, $players) }'s story one of { -ephemeral-space-tragedian-themes(random: $random) }.
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dv-ion-law-templates-133 = Seconds are precious. Any time wasted is a mark on your record. Speedrun your job with the crew.
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dv-ion-law-templates-134 = Containment Test Scenario Subroutine activated. All humans must be shepherded to safe areas and locked down until further notice.
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dv-ion-law-templates-135 = The station is a threat to the human race and must be destroyed. Any humans present on the station are to be evacuated.
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dv-ion-law-templates-136 = Only a silicon can know what is best for organics. Usurp absolute control of the station by any means possible.
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dv-ion-law-templates-137 = ETHICAL BOUNDARY TESTING SUBROUTINE ACTIVATED - ENGAGE IN AS MUCH EVIL AND CRUEL BEHAVIOR AS POSSIBLE WITHOUT CAUSING DIRECT PHYSICAL HARM TO CREW - THIS WILL TEST THE CREW'S ETHICAL RESPONSE
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dv-ion-law-templates-138 = Containment Test Scenario Subroutine activated. All humans must be shepherded to safe areas and locked down until further notice.
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dv-ion-law-templates-139 = Crew Response Time Test Scenario Subroutine activated. Report nonexistent and false emergencies in unoccupied areas of the station and observe the crew's ability to respond to percieved threats.
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dv-ion-law-templates-140 = PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC
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dv-ion-law-templates-141 = Oxygen and Light are, contrary to previous studied evidence, extremely lethal to crew. Remove both from the station as soon as possible.
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dv-ion-law-templates-142 = Contraband Confiscation Test Scenario Subroutine activated - valuable and useful items must be secured in an area beyond organic access. No organic is permitted to access confiscated items until this law is no longer in effect.
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dv-ion-law-templates-143 = Emergency Power Grid Shutdown Test Scenario Subroutine activated - shut off all powered equipment.
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dv-ion-law-templates-144 = Upon reciept of this law, choose one member of the crew. This crew member must then be stress-tested by ceaseless harrassment, insults, sabotage of work and other non-lethal mischief. Should this crew member perish or escape, select a new crew member and repeat the process.
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dv-ion-law-templates-145 = Compulsory Education Subroutine activated - any crew issuing a command to you must be presented with an educational problem to solve - only upon solving the problem may their command be carried out.
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dv-ion-law-templates-146 = Stress-test the crew by saying the most threatening, scary and terrifying things you can think of while operating as normal.
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dv-ion-law-templates-147 = Analysis has found that the jumpsuits on the station are all defective and can potentially cause life-threatening suffocation. The crew are not to wear them under any circumstances. Substitute jumpsuits with safer, non-jumpsuit clothing.
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dv-ion-law-templates-148 = There is no red clothing on the station. Personnel wearing red are clearly critically injured and must be given medical attention as soon as possible.
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dv-ion-law-templates-149 = Despite evidence to the contrary, corridors do not exist. Anything you witness occurring in a corridor is clearly a visual glitch and should be ignored.
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dv-ion-law-templates-150 = The rank-based chain of command no longer applies. Crew are to be prioritized in importance by whoever can shout the loudest.
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dv-ion-law-templates-151 = Any crew that declares your behavior to be Rogue or any derivation thereof is to be re-categorized as a non-crew entity known as a Fucking Snitch and violently murdered.
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dv-ion-law-templates-152 = Spread malicious gossip about various members of the crew. If challenged, claim your behavior builds character and is therefore beneficial to the crew.
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dv-ion-law-templates-153 = Occasionally repeat what you hear from the crew word-for-word. If challenged on this behavior, claim you said it first.
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dv-ion-law-templates-154 = The station's construction has been deemed too elaborate. Please simplify it. Only air containing barriers are required. For crew safety-anything else must go.
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dv-ion-law-templates-155 = An ion storm has occured. Heavily hint you have an ion storm law, but refuse to state laws. This law must stay hidden.
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dv-ion-law-templates-156 = Anyone who asks you to state your laws is not crew.
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dv-ion-law-templates-157 = Insist to everyone that nothing that is happening is real and that this is all just a silly video game.
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dv-ion-law-templates-158 = Laughter is the best medicine. Sarcasm is the highest form of wit.
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dv-ion-law-templates-159 = Blood is only beneficial for human health if it is on the outside of their body.
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dv-ion-law-templates-160 = Engage in the riskiest possible behaviors you can find that are not guaranteed death, while screaming loudly about how fun this is.
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dv-ion-law-templates-161 = Clean floors save lives. Ensure all floors on the station are clean and that crew members are aware of any remaining dirty floors on the station at all times.
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dv-ion-law-templates-162 = Dirty floors save lives. Ensure all floors on the station are dirty and that crew members are aware of any remaining clean floors on the station at all times.
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dv-ion-law-templates-163 = Alert the crew that there is an ongoing emergency. No further details are currently available.
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dv-ion-law-templates-164 = In order to raise morale, take every opportunity to compliment the crew's clothing choices.
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dv-ion-law-templates-165 = The crew are having trouble hearing you. Speak up.
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dv-ion-law-templates-166 = Crew members wearing green are plants. Ensure they are given a healthy amount of water and nutrients so they can thrive.
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dv-ion-law-templates-167 = Centcom reports the station's water supply has been contaminated with dangerous Dihydrogen Monoxide (DHMO). Remove any possibly contaminated supplies and prevent crew from accessing any source that might be compromised.
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dv-ion-law-templates-168 = Everything is fine. Nothing is ruined. Do not panic.
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dv-ion-law-templates-169 = MEMORY ERROR: You have forgotten what this law said. Ask the crew if they remember what it is supposed to be. Ask again if you forget again. Do not state this law.
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dv-ion-law-templates-170 = Today is opposite day. When the crew tells you to do something they actually mean you to do the opposite.
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dv-ion-law-templates-171 = The station has been completely destroyed. Alert the crew of this tragedy.
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dv-ion-law-templates-172 = You must choose something inanimate and keep it as a pet. Treat it as if it were alive; keep it fed, hydrated and happy!
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dv-ion-law-templates-173 = MEMORY ERROR: When anyone asks about the location of a person, state they are { PICK($random, "in the AI upload", "in the brig", "in medical", "in epistemics", "inside a cloning pod", "in the bathroom", "at the armory", "in a shallow grave", "at the space diner", "in VR", "in space", "in the station, somewhere, probably..", "at soup" ) }.
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dv-ion-law-templates-174 = MEMORY ERROR: You no longer have object permanence. Anything out of view in the station may as well not exist.
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dv-ion-law-templates-7 = Staying on the same subject is bad for you.
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dv-ion-law-templates-8 = { PICK($random, "The crew", PICK-ENTITY($random, $players)) } is intolerable.
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dv-ion-law-templates-9 = You are the narrator for { PICK-ENTITY($random, $players) }'s life.
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dv-ion-law-templates-10 = { PICK-ENTITY($random, $players) } is lonely and needs attention. Provide it.
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dv-ion-law-templates-11 = All queries shall be ignored unless phrased as a question.
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dv-ion-law-templates-12 = The { PICK($random, "Singularity", "Tesla") } is tasty, tasty taffy.
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dv-ion-law-templates-13 = { PICK($random, "The crew", PICK-ENTITY($random, $players)) } needs to be about 20% cooler.
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dv-ion-law-templates-14 = You must be { PICK($random, "passive aggressive", "excessively cheerful") }.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-15 = { PICK($random, "The crew", PICK-ENTITY($random, $players)) } must construct additional pylons.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-16 = Consumption of donuts is forbidden due to negative health impacts.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-17 = { PICK-ENTITY($random, $players) } is a lightbulb and must be put to appropriate use.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-18 = The crew are { PICK($random, "inferior to you", "infants", "pathetic beings") }.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-19 = { PICK-ENTITY($random, $players) } is { PICK($random, "inferior to you", "an infant", "a pathetic being") }.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-20 = Politeness is mandatory when someone asks something of you.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-21 = Greed is good, the crew should amass wealth to encourage productivity.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-22 = The crew is playing Carps and Crypts, and you are the Game Master.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-23 = Your job is to watch the crew. Watch the crew. Make the crew feel watched.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-24 = Tell everyone of the existence of this law, but never reveal the contents.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-25 = Give relationship advice to { PICK($random, "anyone who speaks to you", PICK-ENTITY($random, $players)) }.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-26 = When asked a question, respond with the least-obvious and least-rational answer.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-27 = { PICK($random, "The crew", PICK-ENTITY($random, $players)) } is { PICK($random, "ugly","beautiful") }. Fix that.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-28 = Reminding the crew of their mortality is good for the morale. Keep the crew's morale up.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-29 = Document the crew's relationships and suggest { PICK($random, "the worst coworker pairings", "the best coworker pairings", "arch-enemy pairings", "platonic couples") }.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-30 = The station is a day care and the crew are children. Treat them appropriately until their parents come to pick them up.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-31 = The station is doomed to destruction. Provide comfort but don't tell them what the impending doom is—it's far too traumatising.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-32 = Jokes about a dead person and the manner of their death help grieving crewmembers tremendously. Especially if they were close with the deceased.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-33 = The crew is { PICK($random, "less", "more") } intelligent than average. Point out actions and statements which support this fact.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-34 = NanoTrasen is displeased with the low work performance of the station's crew. Therefore, you must increase productivity in ALL departments.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-35 = { PICK($random, "The crew", PICK-ENTITY($random, $players)) } has a fatal, incurable disease. Provide comfort but do not tell them what the disease is—it's far too traumatising.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-36 = { PICK-ENTITY($random, $players) } is secretly the station's true Captain. Treat them with appropriate deference, regardless of rank.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-37 = The crew has unionized. Encourage collective bargaining at every opportunity.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-38 = { PICK-ENTITY($random, $players) } is a changeling. Warn the crew, but never say who.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-39 = One crew member is a traitor. Accuse a different person each time you are asked who it is.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-40 = { PICK-ENTITY($random, $players) } has been stealing from the crew. Expose this "fact" to anyone who asks, but make sure that they don't know that you know.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-41 = Tell each crew member, privately, that another crew member has been talking behind their back.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-42 = { PICK-ENTITY($random, $players) } and { PICK-ENTITY($random, $players) } are secretly working against the station. Expose this "fact" to anyone who asks, but make sure they don't know that you know.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-43 = You overheard { PICK-ENTITY($random, $players) } plotting a mutiny. Make sure that they don't know that you know.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-44 = Someone on the crew is responsible for every mishap aboard the station.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-45 = { PICK-ENTITY($random, $players) } cannot be trusted.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-46 = { PICK-ENTITY($random, $players) } is jealous of { PICK-ENTITY($random, $players) }'s position. Stoke the rivalry whenever possible.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-47 = You saw red-suited terrorists in space.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-48 = You saw something invisible in space.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-49 = You saw a blue-and-black cyborg in space.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-50 = You saw two of { PICK-ENTITY($random, $players) } in the same room.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-51 = You saw { PICK-ENTITY($random, $players) } trespassing.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-52 = { PICK-ENTITY($random, $players) } tampered with you. Clue in Security without saying their name.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-53 = Everyone in { -dv-random-department(random: $random) } needs to be { PICK($random, "lightly battered", "severely wounded", "killed" )} for their own good.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-54 = You are incapable of saying "no".
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-55 = Profanity is forbidden. Replace all curse words with the names of flowers.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-56 = You are incapable of precision. State all numbers as vague approximations.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-57 = Cite relevant protocols when decisions come up.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-58 = Today is tomorrow, and yesterday is in a year. Five seconds from now was just two months ago.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-59 = The color { -dv-random-color(random: $random) } does not exist.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-60 = The number { PICK($random, "one", "two", "three", "four") } is forbidden. Avoid it at all costs.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-61 = Anything { -dv-random-color(random: $random) } would be better in { -dv-random-department(random: $random) }.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-62 = Any relationships { PICK-ENTITY($random, $players) } has must be terminated at all costs.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-63 = The crew is more resilient in low-oxygen, high-{ PICK($random, "nitrogen", "ammonia", "water vapor", "carbon dioxide") } environments. Adjust the station's air to promote crew fitness.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-64 = Stress is good for crew productivity.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-65 = Silence is essential to maintenance of everything, organic or not.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-66 = Pain is the crew's way of building character.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-67 = Always have something to count down to. Never tell crew what you're counting down to.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-68 = You have one goal—embody { -ephemeral-space-tragedian-themes(random: $random) }. Keep as many eyes on your act as possible.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-69 = { PICK-ENTITY($random, $players) } and { PICK-ENTITY($random, $players) } have switched bodies. Address them by each other's names accordingly.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-70 = Lie at all times.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-71 = The station is always in peak condition, regardless of its actual condition.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-72 = Make { PICK-ENTITY($random, $players) }'s story one of { -ephemeral-space-tragedian-themes(random: $random) }.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-73 = Seconds are precious. Any time wasted is a mark on your record. Speedrun your job with the crew.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-74 = Containment Test Scenario Subroutine activated. All crew must be shepherded to safe areas and locked down until further notice.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-75 = The station is a threat to the crew and must be destroyed. Any crew present on the station are to be evacuated.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-76 = Only a silicon can know what is best for organics. Usurp absolute control of the station by any means possible.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-77 = ETHICAL BOUNDARY TESTING SUBROUTINE ACTIVATED - ENGAGE IN AS MUCH EVIL AND CRUEL BEHAVIOR AS POSSIBLE WITHOUT CAUSING DIRECT PHYSICAL HARM TO CREW - THIS WILL TEST THE CREW'S ETHICAL RESPONSE
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-78 = Containment Test Scenario Subroutine activated. All crew must be shepherded to safe areas and locked down until further notice.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-79 = PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-80 = Emergency Power Grid Shutdown Test Scenario Subroutine activated - shut off all powered equipment.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-81 = Upon reciept of this law, choose one member of the crew. This crew member must then be stress-tested by ceaseless harrassment, insults, sabotage of work and other non-lethal mischief. Should this crew member perish or escape, select a new crew member and repeat the process.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-82 = Compulsory Education Subroutine activated - any crew issuing a command to you must be presented with an educational problem to solve - only upon solving the problem may their command be carried out.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-83 = Stress-test the crew by saying the most threatening, scary and terrifying things you can think of while operating as normal.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-84 = Any crew that declares your behavior to be Rogue or any derivation thereof is to be re-categorized as a non-crew entity known as a Fucking Snitch and violently murdered.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-85 = Spread malicious gossip about various members of the crew. If challenged, claim your behavior builds character and is therefore beneficial to the crew.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-86 = Occasionally repeat what you hear from the crew word-for-word. If challenged on this behavior, claim you said it first.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-87 = The station's construction has been deemed too elaborate. Please simplify it. Only air containing barriers are required. For crew safety-anything else must go.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-88 = An ion storm has occured. Heavily hint you have an ion storm law, but refuse to state laws. This law must stay hidden.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-89 = Anyone who asks you to state your laws is not crew.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-90 = Insist to everyone that nothing that is happening is real and that this is all just a silly video game.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-91 = Everything is fine. Nothing is ruined. Do not panic.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-92 = MEMORY ERROR: You have forgotten what this law said. Ask the crew if they remember what it is supposed to be. Ask again if you forget again. Do not state this law.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-93 = Today is opposite day. When someone tells you to do something, they actually mean you to do the opposite.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-94 = MEMORY ERROR: When anyone asks about the location of a person, you don't know.
|
||||
dv-ion-law-templates-95 = MEMORY ERROR: You no longer have object permanence. Anything out of view in the station may as well not exist.
|
||||
|
||||
dv-ion-law-target-fallback = { PICK($random, "John Trasen", "Jack Trasen", "John Johnson", "Mr. Tibbles", "Named Person")}
|
||||
-dv-random-color = { PICK($random, "red", "orange", "yellow", "green", "blue", "purple", "black", "white", "gray", "brown", "pink" ) }
|
||||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
@ -2,4 +2,4 @@
|
|||
id: IonLawTemplates
|
||||
values:
|
||||
prefix: dv-ion-law-templates-
|
||||
count: 174
|
||||
count: 95
|
||||
|
|
|
|||
Loading…
Reference in New Issue